The Wretched and the Heartbroken
by Sugary.-.Snow
Summary: Rated M for yaoi, incest, lemon, and torture/murder VentusxRoxas and a bit VanitasxRoxas Roxas tries to deny his feelings for his half-brother by convincing himself that he hates him. When they finally realize they both have feelings for each other everything seems to be going well until Ventus's mother catches them. She reacts in a way no one would expect.


"_**How far are you willing to go tonight?"**_

With those words Axel passed me the pipe and I inhaled the smoke that would get me high. Inhaling to quickly I began to cough violently.

Axel smirked, "You weren't lying when you said it was your first time."

I took another puff of it but this time held it in. I was prepared to take another puff when I was elbowed roughly by the boy next to me.

"Hey, Roxas, you know the damned rules," Vanitas glared at me, "Puff, puff, pass."

I glared back at my best friend's older brother and passed it. After about another half hour off us passing the pipe around, I could feel the changes slowly. Suddenly it felt like someone filled my head with helium and everything seemed funnier.

With 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' by Nirvana playing in the background we all sat around talking about stupid shit. Somehow we convinced the only girls in this group; Yuffie and Selphy into take off most of their clothes and jump in the pool.

Axel, Vanitas and I watched the amazing sight as the girls stripped down to their bra and panties and leaped into the pool. I wasn't keeping track of the time and didn't notice how late it was until my half-brother Ventus knocked on the door.

Axel answered it a bit annoyed.

"Where the hell is Roxas?" He let himself in the house to find me sitting on the couch with the pipe in my hands.

"Fuck." I handed Vanitas the pipe, "What Ventus?"

"Do you have any idea what fucking time it is?" I swear when I looked at Ventus it was like looking into a mirror. We looked so much alike we could be twins, which people usually mistake us as. They were always getting us mixed up. "It's past 1:00 in the morning!"

"Then what the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at home?" I glared at him.

"I would love to be at home, I really would, but the whole family is out searching for _your_ stupid ass!" Ventus looked furious, "We thought something terrible happened to you but it turns out you just ran away to get high with your friends!"

I looked away from him. I wanted to say something. Something like: 'I'm sorry for being such an ass.' But I couldn't get the words to pass my lips. Instead they were stuck somewhere between my throat and my heart just begging to be said. But my lips stayed tightly closed and when they did open I said something I really didn't mean to, "I don't need you to lecture me. I don't need you at all! Go away! Go home! I hate you! I hate how perfect you are! I hate how everyone always compares me to you and I'm always stuck in your fucking shadow!"

Ventus's angry face began to turn into one of shock.

_No…no Ventus I didn't mean that…_

"Well if you're stuck in my shadow it's no one else's fault but your own! Why don't you try doing something good with your life instead of throwing it all away for once! That's all you do! You throw people's feelings on the ground and push people away as best you can!" Ventus really looked…hurt.

"I'll never be good enough to be accepted into your family huh?" I could feel my eyes growing warm with tears. "All because I'm the _unwanted child_ you all think you can treat me like you do? I bet it's not even all of you looking for me huh? I bet that bitch is at the house right now—"

I didn't even get a chance to finish my sentence. Ventus had slapped me.

"Don't _ever_ talk about my mother that way!" Ventus grabbed me by my shirt and yanked me forward, "You should be grateful she allowed you to come live with us after your mother died. You owe her everything you have you ungrateful bastard!"

Slowly I removed his hands from my shirt collar. "I didn't ask for any of this….I didn't ask for my mother to die! I didn't ask for you to take me in!" I walked past him and began to walk out the door.

"You didn't ask me to be your friend either Roxas… But I was. I was your friend because I wanted to get to know you. I wanted to know more about the brother I'd never met. But you've proven to me you don't even deserve to have any friends. You don't deserve to have anyone. So go ahead, go be alone somewhere." Ventus's words stung so badly…

"Alright then," I rubbed my eyes and sniffed, "I get what you're trying to say. I'll go get my stuff from your house. I won't bother your family again. I don't need any of you anyway." Then I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I walked out that door and left Ventus thinking that I hated him.

_No Ventus…that's not how I feel about you at all…_

Even though I knew how I truly felt I couldn't bring myself to say it. Instead I went back to my half-brothers house without his parents noticing me and packed what little things I had in my room. I took everything that I had brought with me when I moved in. I packed everything I'd inherited when my mother died, everything that was truly _mine_.

I only stopped packing once to take one long look at a picture I had of me and my mother. It was one of the only ones I had and I would keep it with me forever.

Once I was finished packing, I left swiftly walking down the street. Where the hell was I supposed to go? I let my feet take me wherever they wanted to and I soon find myself outside of the old apartment my mother and I lived in.

A new family had moved in now. All the lights were turned off, considering it was about 2:00 in the morning. I just stood there with tears running down my face. That family had no idea how many memories my mother and I had made in that apartment. I grew up there. The rooms which they now called their own were once mine and hers.

So many memories began to flood through my mind of what went on in that apartment, the good and the bad. I remembered when my mother first got cable; we were very poor so we hardly ever had the luxuries of a TV. I remembered when my mother once let me eat ice cream for dinner with her and we stayed up for hours playing board games.

I also remember when one of her boyfriend's hit her. I remember how helpless I'd felt while he continued to hit her and I cried in the corner until I saw the blood. That's when I ran over and tried to stop him. I was only 6 years old but I tried my best to defend her. I really did. But he just pushed me away and kept hitting her. Finally after what seemed like forever of him hitting her and me hitting him, begging him to stop, he left. He left her bleeding on the ground.

I remember everything after that perfectly.

_"Mommy…" I crawled over to her and hugged her on the ground._

_ "Hey Blondie," she still managed to smiled with blood leaking from her mouth and face all bruised up. "It's going to be okay now, kid, I promise. That's the last you'll ever see of him."_

_ I continued to lay on her chest and cry, "Mommy…why did he hit you?"_

_ "I owed him some money, but it's okay now," she kissed my forehead; "You'll never have to see that again, sweetie, I swear to you. You'll never see it again."_

_ That was the first time I saw her cry._

"Mommy…" I whispered and fell to the ground outside of the apartment. "Why, Mommy…? Why did you have to die?" Her immune system had always been very weak and she eventually died from some illness.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine her alive. I tried to imagine her with me.

"It's the way of life Roxas."

I turned around to see Vanitas leaning against the fence of the apartment.

"What are you doing here, Vanitas?" I quickly wiped the tears from my face and stood up.

"I just went for a little walk and happened to run in to you. This is completely coincidental," I noticed Vanitas had a bottle of vodka in his hand. He took a sip of it, "You have nowhere to go huh?"

"No…" I would ask him if I could sleep over his and Sora's place but I was afraid I'd be too much of a bother. I didn't want to get in anyone's way.

"C'mon, kid," he walked over to me and slung his arm over my shoulder, "Let's go to my house then."

I looked at him shocked but didn't object. Why would I if he was _offering_ to let me stay with them?

It seemed like we were walking forever until we got to Vanitas's house. He unlocked the door quietly, so not to disturb his sleeping younger brother and he took me to his room.

Now we were sitting on his floor, passing the bottle of vodka back and forth. I got drunk really quickly, because of my low tolerance but Vanitas was drinking like he did this all of the time.

"I mean, what th' fucks everyone's problem?" My words slurred together, "Why won't they stop bothering me?"

"It's-it's because they love you," Vanitas said, "You're fucking lucky, Roxas. Why the hell do you hate your life so much?"

"I don't hate my life…" I looked at the floor.

"Then why-why do you treat your family like crap?" He hiccupped and took another drink.

"Because…because they treat _me_ like crap! Half the time m-my presence isn't even acknowledged by Ventus's mother and my own father treats Ventus like a prince while I'm…" I could feel my eyes growing warm, "I'm treated like I mean nothing to him." Tears streamed down my face.

"I don't get it, whose mother or father…what?" Vanitas scratched his head.

"Ventus and I…have the same dad but different moms. My dad cheated on Ventus's mother with my mother, which is how I was born," I wiped away the tears, "At first he completely denied my existence for years, but when he found out my mother had died he decided he'd finally take responsibility for me. Up until now I had only seen him a couple of times in my whole life."

"That sucks," Vanitas took another sip from the bottle only to realize it was empty. "Damn…"

"Why did this have to happen to me?" I covered my face with my hands as I continued to cry, "Now I have nowhere to go…"

"Yeah you do," Vanitas pat my back; "You can stay here 'til you decide what to do."

I looked up at him, "Really? Thank you, Vanitas!" I wanted to hug him.

"No problem," Vanitas said, "Heh, it's past 4:00 in the morning. You should get some sleep. You can stay in Sora's room. Be careful not to wake him up."

I nodded and went into Sora's room. It was completely dark but I'd been there many times before so I knew exactly where the bed was. I stripped down to my boxers and slipped in the bed with him without a care.

When I awoke I felt something hard pressing up against my lower back.

"What the hell?" I tried to move to find a pair of arms wrapped around my shoulders and some ones face pressed against my hair.

"Kairi…" I heard Sora moan as he tightened his grip around me.

Was he dreaming about Kairi and got an _excited_?

I tried to get away from the sleeping boy, "Sora, get up!" I said angrily struggling to break free from him. During my attempts to loosen his grip around me I accidentally rubbed up against his erection though his boxers.

"Aaah~! K-Kairi…" Sora moaned and suddenly pulled me back down on the bed just when I was about to get away. Now he was lying on top of my chest. Damn he was a heavy sleeper. Not to mention just plain heavy!

I was getting really annoyed now, "Sora!"

He's was rubbing himself up against me!

"Ngghhh…" he was beginning to moan louder.

I couldn't take it anymore, I began to hit him. "Wake up god dammit!"

"Wha…?" Sora's eyes slid open slowly. "R-Roxas…?" He realized he was on top of me and jumped up quickly, "Roxas! What the hell are you doing in my bed?" Then he turned red when he realized he was hard.

"Vanitas is letting me stay he because I'm not wanted in Ventus's house anymore," I got out of the bed, "This morning you were apparently dreaming about Kairi and I was almost used in her place." I glared at him.

Sora got even redder. "Um…sorry… I'll be back!" He quickly ran out of the room and I heard the bathroom door shut.

I sighed and looked through my small pile of things on Sora's bedroom floor. I felt kind of sick. It was probably because I got a bit drunk last night. I glanced over out the window. Sunlight was streaming through the heavy shades. It must be around noon. I grabbed some clean clothes and waited for Sora to get out of the bathroom.

"Can I use your shower?" I asked him when he reentered the room.

"Yeah, whatever," Sora looked a bit nervous, "And I'm really sorry about earlier… If I had known you were there…"

"It's cool." I said before walking into the bathroom to take a shower.

When I was finished with getting ready I went back into Sora's room to find him dressed as well.

"What would you like to do today?" Sora smiled one of his signature extremely happy smiles.

I thought for a moment, "It's Sunday so no one should be really busy. Let's call some people to meet up somewhere."

"Okay," Sora's smile never left his mouth, "Where should we meet them?"

I stopped to think for another minute. "Um…"

Then Vanitas entered the room with a huge grin, much like his younger brothers, "How about we throw a party?"

"That's a good idea," I nodded my head in agreement, "We can all…get high." I laughed when I remembered what it was like to get high for the first time yesterday.

Sora seemed to get a bit nervous after I said that, "Get high? You mean from weed?"

"Yeah," I smiled, "It's really fun, you'll like it." I had to make sure I kept an eye on him while he was high though. He was ditzy enough already. I didn't need him getting into trouble or something.

"O-okay…" Sora grabbed his cellphone and began looking through his contacts, "Who should I call?"

"Call everyone!" Vanitas said excitedly.

Sora raised an eyebrow at his older brother, "Even Terra and Aqua?"

Vanitas nodded, "Yeah whatever! Just invite everyone."

I don't know what went on between Vanitas, Terra and Aqua. But some odd series of events led up to him hating both of their guts. Whenever Terra and Vanitas were in the same room together a fight was almost inevitable.

"Okay then," Sora began pressing buttons on his phone.

Soon a bunch of people from our school were there. Music was playing, people were dancing, getting drunk, getting high, Vanitas had even ordered a bunch of pizza's for everyone.

Then I saw my other best friends Xion, Axel, and Riku.

"Hey guys," I smiled at them.

"Hey Roxas," Xion and the rest of them smiled back, "Nice party."

"Hey, is Sora…_smoking_?" Riku raised an eyebrow at me.

"Probably," I turned to see Sora holding a pipe up to his mouth, his eyes were already bloodshot red and the only reason why he wasn't currently taking another puff is because he was giggling with Kairi. "I'm about to go smoke some in a sec too. You guys go enjoy yourselves."

"Alright," Xion smiled.

"Of course," Axel smirked. "You know if there's weed at a party, I'll be smoking it."

We walked over to Sora and he handed me the pipe and stood up, holding Kairi's hand. "We'll be back." The stupid grin on his said it all. They were probably leaving to do more than make-out. "But wait…um Roxas… I need to talk to you really quick." He let go of Kairi's hand, "Just give me a sec…"

Then he and I moved into the hallway where no one could hear us.

"What is it?" The weed was waiting for me, I wanted to make this quick.

"Hey this might sound strange but um…" It was so obvious he was high. "Uh…do you have a condom?"

"No," I frowned, "Any condoms I had are back in my room at Ventus's house."

"Ah, cool 'cause he's here. So you can just, like, go ask him—"

"Wait, _what_?" Now I was getting angry, "He's _here_, right now?"

"Yeah he's right over there so y'know you could ask him—"

"No, shut up, I'm not asking him for a condom for you," I glared at Sora, "Why the hell is he here?"

"I dunno, I think he came with Terra and Aqua," Sora shrugged, "Well, if you don't have a condom, I'll just go ask Vanitas." He turned and walked away.

I saw Ventus talking to my ex-girlfriend, Naminé. She was smiling and laughing with him. I was debating with myself whether I should approach them or not. Just when I was about to leave the hallway to go tell Ventus to leave, Terra and Vanitas walked in arguing with each other.

"Vanitas, did you really invite me here just to argue with me?" Terra glared at him. They both didn't notice me standing there not too far from them in the dark hallway.

"I-I'm not trying to argue with you!" Vanitas looked like he was drunk _and_ high again, "I…just want to know why the hell you left me for _Aqua_?" He nearly stumbled and spilled his glass of wine.

"Oh c'mon, that was almost a year ago. You need to move on!" Terra was obviously avoiding his question.

Suddenly Vanitas threw the glass on the hardwood floor. The red liquid spilling out everywhere as it shattered, "How the hell do you expect me to move on? When one morning you just woke up next to me and told me we had to break up! Is-is it because she's _female_? Is that why?"

I didn't know what to do. If I tried to move or let my presence be known now they'd probably be angry because I'd heard too much. So I just stood there and waited for them to finish talking.

"If that answer will satisfy you enough to leave me alone, then yes," Terra rubbed his head like he had a headache. "I left you because I realized I'm not gay. I realized I was in love with Aqua."

Vanitas looked like he was ready to cry. "Okay… Then I just want to know one more thing…"

"What?" Terra looked irritated.

"Before you broke up with me…" Vanitas looked at the floor, "…how did you realize you _loved _Aqua?"

Terra didn't answer him. He didn't even look in his direction.

When Vanitas looked back up I could see tears in his eyes now, "You…cheated on me didn't you?" Terra didn't answer him again, "You bastard! You-you…!" Just as Vanitas looked as if he was about to _attack_ Terra, I stepped in and held him back.

"I'm leaving," Terra said, "I'm sorry, Vanitas." Then he exited the hallway.

Vanitas continued to struggle as I held him back. "Let me go, Roxas!"

"Not until you calm down!" My arms were wrapped around him to keep him from hitting me.

Suddenly Vanitas fell to the floor, bringing me with him, "God dammit!" He just sat there crying. When I saw that he wouldn't be a threat to anyone I let him go only to have him leap towards me and hug me.

This was so strange… Vanitas had always been the fun, strong guy who everyone looked up to and admired but now…he was crying on my shoulder. "It's going to be okay, Vanitas…"

He sat on the floor for about another 10-20 minutes before he pulled me up. "I'm going to be in my room…" He turned away from me, "Just go back to the party and have fun or whatever…" I watched him walk away and shook my head slowly. I couldn't let him just go sulk in his room.

I went back into the living room where I got some weed from my friends. I then nervously stood outside of Vanitas's door for a couple of seconds before knocking.

"Who is it?" I heard from the other side.

"It's me, Roxas, open the door," I began to fidget with the bag of weed and pipe.

The door swung open. "What do you want?"

"Can I…come in?" I stared at the floor.

Vanitas let me in, "Why aren't you hanging out with your friends?"

"It's loud out there," that was actually true. The noise everyone was making along with the music was starting to give me a headache, "I'd rather smoke somewhere quieter."

"You know, if you're going to smoke here you have to share," Vanitas smirked. I was glad to see he had stopped crying.

I smiled at him. "Yeah, it's more fun with two people."

Soon we were passing the pipe back and forth and watching episodes of Family Guy on Vanitas's Xbox.

"Hey, how much of me and Terra's conversation did you hear?" Vanitas asked me before taking another puff from the pipe.

"Uhh…all of it," I could feel myself turning red, "I wasn't eavesdropping or anything though! I was actually watching Ventus and Naminé until the both of you walked up."

"It's cool," Vanitas passed the pipe, "Just don't tell anyone what you heard."

"I would never," I said before taking some of the smoke in.

Once we were out of weed we just sat there watching Family Guy for a while. I closed my eyes for a little bit.

"Hey, Roxas," I heard Vanitas say.

"Hm…?" My eyes slowly slid open to see that his face was about an inch from mine, "W-what?"

Then Vanitas smirked and gently pressed his lips to mine.

"Aw dude, what the fuck?" I pulled away quickly, "I-I'm not gay! Especially not for you! You're my best friend's brother!"

"Not for me…?" Vanitas smirked and raised an eyebrow at me, "So you're saying you're gay for someone else?"

_Maybe…_ "Wh-wha… No! I'm not gay!" I said quickly.

"Liar," Vanitas tackled me onto his bed, "Tell me."

"I already told you, I'm not gay!" He pinned me down to the bed.

"Is it for _Sora_?" Vanitas continued to smirk, "Are you gay for my little brother?"

I glared at him, "Hell no!"

"Then for who?" Vanitas used one hand to hold both of my hands to the bed and his other hand began to unzip my pants. "Tell me, or I swear I'll make you moan so loud everyone in the whole house will hear."

I began to panic, "Y-you wouldn't…"

"Are you sure?" Vanitas began to slowly pull down my pants. I began to struggle but he held me down. How the hell was he so strong even while high and possibly drunk? He should be all over the place right now and not able to think clearly! "Tell me who it is."

"But I'm not—aaah!" Vanitas grabbed my penis with his cold hand.

"You're not what?" He began to stroke it.

"I-I-I…" I was trying to suppress my moans as he stroked it faster and faster. "I'm not…gay!"

"Whatever you say, then," he pulled my pants down all the way and began to unzip his own. Once he got his pants off he reached down and slowly slid his finger inside of my entrance.

The feeling was so uncomfortable. "Ahh…please…stop…" The uncomfortable feeling was slowly turning into pleasure.

"You want me to stop? But your body likes it," Vanitas whispered in my ear and pushed his fingers in further, causing me to arch my back.

I knew why he was doing this. He was trying to stretch my entrance so he wouldn't hurt me to much when he…

"Vanitas, you can't…" I was breathing rapidly as he pulled his fingers out and used both hands to lift my hips up and position his member at my entrance.

"I can't do what?" He paused, "I'll stop now. All you have to tell me who it is."

"You don't understand…I-I can't," I really couldn't. The answer to his question was something I hadn't even fully admitted to myself. How could I admit it to him?"

"Okay, that's fine," he slammed my hips all the way down on him.

I clenched my teeth to hold in my yell and gripped his bed sheets firmly. It was painful.

Vanitas was breathing more quickly now as he waited for a little bit before pulling out all the way and pushing back in repeatedly. He was holding me so tight I knew there'd be bruises later.

I kept my mouth firmly shut.

"Oh c'mon, you know you want to scream my name," he flipped me over so that I was lying on my stomach. "Go ahead and do it." With one hand knit in my hair to keep me from hitting the headboard and one hand stroking my manhood again he continued to push in and out.

I did want to moan and it was becoming harder and harder for me to hold it in. But I had to try my best. I couldn't risk someone hearing me and knowing what was going on…

Soon I came onto Vanitas's hand and Vanitas came inside me. I had succeeded in holding all my urges to moan. I had let a couple slip out but it wasn't loud enough for anyone to hear.

I let out a sigh of relief.

"You're really stubborn, aren't you," Vanitas smirked as he flipped me over again. "Too bad, I'm _more_ stubborn." He licked my now soft penis making it twitch slightly.

"No…" I whispered quietly. I don't think I can handle anymore.

Vanitas ignored me and took it all into his mouth. He moved so quickly I didn't even have time to stop myself.

"Aaah!" I moaned loudly and knit my hands in his raven hair.

He sucked and moved his tongue in such a way, it wasn't hard to guess that he'd done this before.

"O-okay…!" I said through my moaning. "Okay I'll tell you!"

He pulled off. "Who is it?"

"I-it's…V-Ven…" I was speaking quietly.

Although he'd stopped sucking, he still had his hands wrapped around my hard member and occasionally licked the head, "Who?"

"V-Ventus…it's Ventus!" I closed my eyes, ashamed of myself.

Vanitas froze completely, "What?"

"You wanted to know so I told you!" I couldn't look at him.

"You…you're gay for your own brother?" I could hear the shock in his voice. "That's—"

"I know its incest!" I covered my face with my hands.

"Well, yeah," Vanitas said, "But I was just going to say it's unexpected. I thought you hated him."

"He gets everything he wants and refuses to understand why I'm unhappy, of course I hate him," I knew I had probably turned so red. "But…I also hate him because…I can't help but love him and I don't know why! It makes me so angry."

"I think it's because he looks exactly like you. You're probably so into _yourself_ that you think you love him as well because he looks like you." Vanitas let go of me and stood up.

I sat up on his bed, "Shut up! That's not it at all!"

"Heh, I bet if you guys _did it_, it would just be like masturbating," Vanitas looked intrigued, now, "I wonder who'd be on top…"

"Shut up!" I threw a pillow at him.

"Well," he began to redress himself, "When the two of you start dating let me know who's seme. You've made me curious."

"That'll never happen so just forget about it! Ventus would never…"

Vanitas looked at me, "Why don't you just tell him how you feel? You'd be surprised…"

"What?" I was the curious one now, "Do you know something I don't?"

"Oh uh, of course not," Vanitas avoided my eyes. "Hurry up and get dressed I'm gonna go get hammered." He quickly exited the room without another word and shut the door behind him.

I lied in the bed for a bit longer before slowly putting my clothes back on. When I got back to the party it had quieted down a lot. A lot of people had left and the music had been turned off. Now the people who were left were either getting drunk or getting high.

I was still high from earlier so I didn't need to smoke anymore yet. Instead I decided to clean the wine Vanitas had spilled since it apparently had been ignored. When I was finished cleaning it and picking up the broken glass I ran straight into Ventus and Naminé.

"Oh, Roxas," Naminé faked a smile, "Hey, great party, huh?"

"Yeah sure…" I didn't bother trying to hide how displeased I was to see her. But she wasn't my main problem. "What are you doing here, Ventus?"

"I came here with Terra and Aqua," Ventus didn't look too happy to see me, "It really isn't my type of party though…"

"Then leave," I glared at him.

Ventus took a deep breath, "Roxas, listen, I don't want us to fight and argue anymore. Is there some way we can talk about this in private?"

Sora was probably in his room _doing it_ with Kairi right now so we couldn't go in there. I decided to just go into the backyard with Ventus. It was nice and quiet out there. The sun was beginning to set, turning the sky into colors of orange and pink.

"Roxas…" Ventus stared up at the sky before turning to me. "You don't really hate me do you?"

_What? Could Vanitas have told him about what I said…? No…_Ventus didn't sound like he knew. He sounded like he was asking an honest question.

"No, I don't really hate you," I admitted, "You just…irritate me a lot."

"Well good," Ventus smiled at me, "Because you have absolutely no reason to hate me."

"Actually I have plenty of reasons," he was annoying me again, "Our father treats me like I'm nothing and you get everything, on top of that everyone thinks you're perfect. _You_ think you're perfect."

"I…I don't think I'm perfect…quite the opposite actually," Ventus turned away from me again. "I _know _I'm not perfect. Somebody perfect wouldn't…" He mumbled the rest so I didn't hear.

I smirked, "What? Don't tell me _you_ have some kind of weird secret that somehow makes you _imperfect_."

Ventus wouldn't look at me still and I knew I was right.

I laughed at him, "You've gotta be kidding me! Lemme guess what it is, did you—"

Suddenly he turned around and leaned forward causing our lips to brush against each other's slightly. Shocked, I pushed him away.

"That's my secret," he looked down at the ground, "That's what makes me imperfect. It's the constant sexual thoughts I have about my own brother that makes me ashamed of myself. Every fucking time I'm around you I can't help it I just…I just…" Ventus sighed, "I'm sorry. This was a mistake, I have to go. I can understand if you don't want to talk to me again."

He began to walk away and I knew if I let him go he would leave and never know I felt the same way. I grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving.

"No! Don't go," I held on to his arm tightly. "Don't…go…"

He turned back to me with a shocked expression. "You don't want me to leave? You're not mad?"

"No, of course I'm not mad…I-I feel the exact same way!" I closed my eyes, unable to look at him directly as I confessed how I felt.

"Roxas…how long-how come you never told me?" Ventus grabbed my chin and tilted my head up at him since he was slightly taller.

I slowly opened my eyes, "Because I…I never expected you to feel the same way…"

"Well," Ventus smiled. "Now that we've both confirmed how we feel about each other what now?"

"I-I don't know um…" It was getting dark outside.

"Wanna go out?" Ventus asked me suddenly.

His question startled me. "Oh yeah, of course I want to." I smiled back at him. "It's going to be a bit awkward though. We are still brothers."

"Yeah I know, but that's okay," Ventus wrapped his arms around me. "It will be okay."

But it wasn't okay. It was terrible. I mean, everything was fine at first but they eventually found out.

* * *

I had moved back in with my dad. We were all alone in the house, just me and Ventus. Dad was gone on a business trip and Ventus's mother was out grocery/clothes shopping and knowing her she'd be a while.

Ventus pinned me to his bed and began kissing up my neckline. This was now one of many times we'd been alone together and it always led to sex. Always.

While he began to unbutton his school uniform I began to unbutton mine as well. I got stuck at one of the buttons though and suddenly he put his hands on top of mine causing me to stop and look up at him. He stared straight back into my eyes for about a minute before leaning down to kiss me on the lips.

Our actions became quicker and rougher. It didn't seem like Ventus could wait anymore. He yanked my school uniform off causing the rest of the buttons to pop off.

He pulled my pants and boxers off as well then he inserted two fingers inside me. I ignored the uncomfortable feeling and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I arched my back and moaned when his fingers reached a certain sensitive spot. Then he pulled his fingers out and quickly took off the rest of his clothes. With that out of the way he positioned himself at my entrance and slowly pushed in.

"V-Ventus…" I moaned his name and held him tighter as he pulled back out and pushed in again. He repeated that motion until I was practically screaming his name.

He kissed me to suppress my moaning, "Try to be a bit quieter. We don't want the neighbors to hear you."

"Mmmm," I kissed him again and held on for life as he increased his pace. He held my hips steady so I wouldn't move and slammed into me.

Finally after an endless amount of time we both came. He collapsed on top of me and pulled some blankets over us. "I love you, Roxas."

"I love you too, Ventus," I stroked his hair softly. We slept for a while and woke up at about 8:00.

Ventus yawned at sat up, "You know how I like to write poetry right?"

I nodded, for the few years that I've known him he had always loved literature for some odd reason.

"Well lately I've been getting this _bad_ feeling," he scratched his head, "And it's been causing my poems to get more depressing…it's gotten so bad. Some of them are even scary."

"I'm sure it's nothing," I smiled at him.

Ventus looked out the window.

"My mom still isn't back yet," he smiled at me, "Wanna do it one more time before she gets back?"

Honestly I was kind of tired but I couldn't turn down that face of his. Although he looks almost exactly like me, there was this odd glow he had when he was happy. I never got that glow. When Ventus got that glow it always made me happy to just look at him. I couldn't possibly say no.

I nodded, "Okay."

Ventus put me on top this time. He helped me position myself above him and I slowly lowered down on his manhood.

I sat there for minute, breathing heavily, trying to calm the fire in my stomach. Then I lifted myself up and slammed back down repeatedly.

Suddenly Ventus's door flew open to reveal his mother, Karen. She was red, _really red_.

"What the hell is…?" Her eyes widened as she took in the sight.

Ventus flipped us over and pulled out of me.

"M-Mom it's not…" Ventus covered us up with the blanket.

"Oh my…" she dropped the bags of groceries she'd been holding. "W-what the hell is going on in here? What the hell were you two doing?"

I was speechless. I couldn't say anything. I mean what could I possibly say that would help us in this situation? We were caught.

"Roxas, that's your brother! That's _my son_! You're father's son! What the hell is wrong with you?" She began screaming at me. "You're sick! Get the hell away from him! Get away from my son!"

"I…I…" I didn't know what to do. I was frozen.

"Mom, stop! It's not just him who's to blame here!" Ventus yelled back at her, "Don't pretend like it's his entire fault."

"No…no sweetie, it can't be your fault," she looked at him, "Because you're not gay. It's this perverted fuck over here. I know he's probably confused you but with the right amount of therapy and counseling…"

"No! Shut up!" Ventus looked angry, "You think you can just tell me what I am? I'm old enough to know whether or not I'm gay! It's my decision! Mine, not yours! It was also my decision to have _sex_ with my own brother!" Ventus began tearing up. "So stop trying to blame him!"

Karen looked hurt by his words. But instead of just leaving she turned back to me, "What the hell did you do to him? What did you do to fucking brainwash my son you disgusting bastard child!" She looked as if she were ready to attack me, "You think just because your mother's dead you can do whatever the hell you want?" She picked up my clothes and threw them at me, "Get out! Get out of my house! And don't come back!"

Without a word I quickly began dressing. Hot tears streamed down my face as I slipped my shirt on that wouldn't even button up all the way because the buttons had been torn off.

Ventus began to put his clothes on as well, "If you kick him out, I'm going with him!"

"No Ventus you don't have to do that…" I whispered as I left his room and went down the hall to my room. Ventus and his mother remained in the other room arguing.

"You're going to hell, Ventus!" I heard her yell at him, "You're going to hell for what you've done!"

My hands were shaking as I dumped everything out of my school backpack and began putting all my valuables in it.

Then _that woman_ came in there.

"You disgust me…" she narrowed her eyes at me. "Get out of my house."

I turned to her angrily, "Alright! I'm leaving! Fucking bitch…" I mumbled the last part but she still heard me.

"I tried to let you in my house out of kindness but then you _violate_ my son and disrespect me?" She suddenly blocked me from leaving the room. "Well, let me tell you something. I _never_ liked you _or your mother_. From the moment when your father told me you were born I knew you must've been a child from hell." She grabbed my face but I hit her away, "You and that whore-mother of yours never deserved to live."

She…she just… _Mommy…._ I looked down at the floor. I wanted to _kill_ her. I dropped my bag. "Who do you think you are…? My mother never did a thing to you! It was _your_ husband that cheated so what does that say about you? You're just the stupid bitch that let him get away with it! I wouldn't be surprised if that's what he was doing right now on his _business trip_!"

"Well why don't we call him?" She grabbed my arm and began dragging me somewhere. "Actually I have a better idea."

"What the hell? Let me go! I thought you wanted me to leave?" I turned to see Ventus standing at his door. He looked…_broken_. "Ventus!"

She yanked on my arm harder, "Don't ever speak to him again!" Suddenly she pushed me into a dark closet before I could fight her off. She quickly slammed the door shut and locked it. I tripped and fell onto a bunch of things. I heard one of them crack underneath me and felt a sharp pain on my back.

"You just wait in there," she called from the other side, "When I come back I'll send you back to hell where you came from!"

"_What?_ You crazy bitch! Let me out of here!" I was in so much pain. I think…_I think there's a shard of glass stuck in my back…_

Slowly I reached behind me and felt around the area where it hurt. Sure enough, I could feel a large sharp piece sticking out of my flesh.

"S-Son of a bitch…" I whispered in pain and I pulled it out as quickly as I could.

This was ridiculous. Was she...planning on killing me? I checked my pockets for my phone. I didn't have it…I probably left it in Ventus's room.

Wait…Ventus could help me!

I began banging on the door. "Ventus! Ventus get me out of here!" There was no reply. Did she do something to him? "You evil bitch I swear if you hurt him—!"

"She didn't hurt me Roxas," I heard Ventus's voice whisper from the other side of the door.

I sighed, relieved, "Good, now help me out of here!"

"I…I can't…" I heard Ventus sniff. Was he crying?

"What? What do you mean you can't?" I banged my fists on the door, "Ventus I need to get out of here! I'm bleeding and—"

"She said if I don't let you out…she'll lessen my punishment and…she won't tell Dad," Ventus sniffed again.

"_Lessen your punishment?_ That bitch is going to _kill_ me you idiot!" I began crying again as well, "She's going. To. _KILL_. Me." I began hitting the door harder, "Do you fucking understand that? Whatever your punishment is, it's not half as bad as _death_. So Ventus, _please_ help me out of here. _Please_!"

"Roxas I don't even have the key to the door," Ventus sounded more panicked now.

"Well don't just give up! Try to break it down! Or-or go call the police!"

"But she's my mother, I don't want her to go to jail," Ventus didn't know what to do.

I could feel my world crashing down all around me, "Ventus, god dammit! That woman is crazy! Do you want me to die? I thought you…I thought you loved me!" I had lost all my strength and was reduced to just scratching at the door softly.

"I do, Roxas, I really do love you… I-I'm going to try to get you out of there. I'll go call Sora and Vanitas…!" I heard Ventus stand up and walk away.

"Please hurry!" I tried to stand up and find a light switch so I could see exactly where I was. It was obviously some kind of storage room. I found the switch but when I flipped it the light wouldn't turn on. The light must be out. I sighed and sat back down, careful not to cut myself with glass again. It was so cramped in there…

I heard footsteps approaching again and panicked.

"V-Ventus?"

The door swung open revealing Ventus's mother. As soon as she had opened the door I would've gotten out of there. I could have easily pushed the small woman out of the way and left the house had it not been for the _gun_ pointed in my face.

My breathing became rapid. "Y-you…"

"Get up," she kicked me lightly with her foot.

I stood up quickly and she grabbed me by my hair and began dragging me down the hallway again.

Ventus came out of his room, "Mom you can't—" he saw the gun she was still pointing at me "—you can't… Are you crazy? What are you doing?"

"Go back into your room now. And don't come out. You don't want to see this," she pulled me down the stairs and out the back door. Ventus had followed anyways, arguing with her.

"Have you fucking lost your mind?" He grabbed her arm.

Then she did something I'd never expect. She aimed the gun at her own son, "Don't get involved Ventus. Just go back inside and don't bother me."

"No! What the hell is wrong with you?" He was stubborn, "I'm not going to let you kill my brother!"

Karen sighed, obviously annoyed. She hit Ventus on the side of the head with the gun and he immediately fell to the ground, knocked out.

It was dark outside. It was dark when she threw me inside the large storage shed that had all the gardening tools inside of it. Once we were inside she turned on the light and shut the door behind her and locked it.

I began to crawl away from her, to the back of the shed. She walked over to me and grabbed one of my wrists and tied it to my other wrist behind my back with a rope. She did the same with my feet. I was…so scared. Obviously she didn't plan on killing me quickly if she felt the need to tie me up.

She walked over to one of the shelves, set the gun down and grabbed one of her horse whips, since she was a part of a horseback riding club. She whipped me. She whipped my back, my face, my arms and my legs. She whipped me until I began to bleed.

"I hate you!" She screamed at me, "I've always hated you! You're a disgusting little bastard!"

I looked up, and then I saw it, a barrel being filled with water? What was she planning…?

"Oh you want to know what the barrel is for." She dropped the whip and grabbed me by my hair to lift me up.

"No...No…No…" I quietly whispered as she dragged me by my hair to the barrel filled with water.

She held my head over the water for a moment before dunking my head under the water. Of course I struggled but it was pointless. She wouldn't let me lift up my head. After I could hold my breath anymore I breathed in a lot of water. When she realized I was drowning and would definitely die she lifted my head back up and I immediately took a deep, strangled, breath of oxygen and coughed up some water.

"Someone please help me!" I screamed and she pushed my head back under the water.

This time she held my head under for longer and my vision of the bottom of the barrel began to go black. She pulled me out and I coughed up more water. She threw me back on the floor of the shed and bent down to grab my face. She made me look her straight in the eyes.

"Ugh. Consider yourself blessed you're as good looking as my son. We'll have to do something about that later…or better yet." She tilted my head so she could get a good look at all of my features. "Maybe I could _sell_ you." She smirked, "You'd like that wouldn't you? Being fucked by men every day?"

"You're sick," I whispered. There was really nothing she could do besides torture and/or kill me. And since I knew death was inevitable here anyway I decided to piss her off, "The only one I'd ever want to be fucked by is Ventus."

"Shut up!" She slapped me and stood back up straight, "My son is not gay!"

"It sure seemed like it earlier," I smirked at her. "You know he's the one who confessed to _me_. I didn't have to say a damned thing."

"Shut up! Just shut up!" She covered her ears angrily. "He's just confused!"

"If you honestly believe that, you're stupider than I thought," I sat up as best as I could with my arms and legs still being tied up.

She picked up the whip and began whipping me again. I did my best to turn away so she wouldn't hit my face.

"I said shut up you stupid faggot!" She continued to angrily whip me, "You know I never understood it. Why Thomas loved you so much." Thomas was my father.

"What are you talking about?" My father didn't love me. At least he never acted like it.

"He even left most of his money to you and your whore-mother in his will! And none for me, _nothing at all for his own wife!_" Her whipping got slower and slower until she eventually stopped and was overcome by tears, "How do you think that makes me feel? That he's leaving everything to his illegitimate child and some woman he cheated on me with!"

Was she serious? She looked serious. So when he dies I was supposed to get most of his money?

"Well that's going to change," she glared at me, "You're not going to live to get his money and it will all belong to me and Ventus." She raised the whip up to hit me again but then the light went out.

"Shit." She dropped the whip and walked over to the shed door and began unlocking it. "I'll be back to finish this." She grabbed her gun before leaving.

Once she shut the door I tried to stand. That idiot left me in a room full of hedge-clippers. All I had to do was get my hands on one…

As soon as I had got myself up and was heading toward the shelf with hedge clippers the shed door swung open and with the light from the moon I could see that it was Ventus.

"I cut all the power lines," He said and walked over to me with his flashlight. "Let's go. I already called the _police_." He grabbed the hedge clippers and cut the rope around my wrists and ankles. "C'mon." He let me use his shoulder for support.

"What the hell are you doing?"

We turned to see Karin standing at the entrance with the gun aimed at us. Immediately Ventus leaped to the floor pulling me with him, just in time to avoid the bullet she shot at us.

_Karin/Ventus's Mother's POV_

I could barely tell which one was which in the darkness, "Why Ventus? Why are you trying to protect him? I'm doing this for _us_."

He didn't respond. I examined them both on the floor closely trying to see which one was my son and which one was that bastard. Since they fell on the floor, they had rolled over a couple of times but the one on top must be Ventus because was trying to protect him.

"Move out of the way!" I grabbed Ventus by his hair and pulled him up to push him out of the way.

"Wha—wait!"

"I'm ending this now!" I aimed the gun at Roxas's chest.

"Mom—" Roxas said right when I pulled the trigger I was tackled to the floor by Ventus but it was too late. I shot him. I shot that son of a bitch and now he would finally die and go back to hell.

"_You dumb bitch_!" Ventus yelled at me. There was something wrong with his voice… He slapped me and forcefully removed the gun from my hands. "_You killed your own son!_"

"What…what are you talking about?" _No…that couldn't be right_. "I killed Roxas."

"You killed _Ventus_! That's _Ventus _you shot!" He was crying so hard. "_I'm_ Roxas!" He lifted up his school uniform sleeve to show me a birthmark that Ventus didn't have.

"What…I…" I began to hyperventilate, "No! Not my baby!" I crawled over to him quickly and held him gently in my arms, "Ventus! Ventus!"

He coughed up blood. "R-Roxas..."

Ugh. How could he still be thinking about Roxas?

_"Shoot her."_ Ventus whispered, "Shoot her now."

"_WHAT_?" I held him tighter, "You ungrateful—"

_Roxas's POV_

_**Bang.**_

I shot her in the head before she could even finish her sentence. I pushed her out of the way to hold Ventus.

"Why? Why didn't you say anything?" Why did he let her shoot him?

He coughed up more blood, "I love you Roxas. I really do. I couldn't let her kill you. I'd rather be dead than live without you."

I cried even harder, "What about me? What if I can't live without _you_?"

"I'm sorry, Roxas," he slowly reached up and touched my cheek. "Can you tell me you love me? Just one more—" He coughed again, "one more time…"

"I love you!" I yelled, "I love you so much, Ventus, please don't die!"

I could hear the sirens in the distance.

"I love you too, Roxas…" He closed his eyes and stopped breathing.

"NO!" I yelled and began to shake him, trying to get him to open his eyes again. "Please Ventus!" There was nothing I could do. Ventus was dead.

Soon I heard someone bang on the front door to the house. I quickly stood up and closed the shed door and locked it. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to leave Ventus and go to jail yet.

I heard the police try to open the shed but it wouldn't work. They didn't have the correct tools to get it open at that moment.

I stayed there for endless hours, holding Ventus in my arms and crying until finally, I could hear people outside the shed again. One of them sounded like my father.

Grabbing the gun I held it to my head. "I won't live without you Ventus." As soon as they got the door open I pulled the trigger.

_But God is cruel._

"Wha-what…?" I pulled it again and again but nothing happened. "No!" My dad grabbed my wrist and pulled the gun from my hand. "No it can't be out of bullets! I don't want to live anymore! I can't live without Ventus!"

Once he dropped the gun he wrapped his arms around me, he was crying as well. "It's okay, son. It's going to be okay."

With nothing else to do I hugged him back and continued to cry on his shoulder. "I can't do it anymore Dad. I can't live."

He lifted me up. "Yes you can, Roxas, I know things are hard now but I promise it will get better." His words wouldn't comfort me. _How could I live without Ventus?_

* * *

I lied to the police. I told them that she had been trying to kill me and after she figured out she'd actually shot Ventus she shot herself and my fingerprints were on the gun obviously because I tried to commit suicide.

It turns out before she had tortured me, she'd called my father and _told him_ she was going to kill me for what I'd done and he immediately began his trip home.

So I was off the hook and after some intensive therapy I stopped trying to kill myself. I would never fully be over Ventus's death but I decided, since we only live once and we were going to die someday anyway I could wait. Also, I was the only one my father had left and he had somehow convinced me that he needed me to stay alive so we could be a family.

Every day after school I would go sit next to Ventus's grave, which my father kindly had placed next to my mothers. I would just lay there for hours until it got dark. Then I left without saying a word.

One day I was sitting next to their graves, silently tracing Ventus's epitaph on his tombstone. We had found a book filled with his poetry and had decided to use one of them to write on his grave.

_The sound of your voice, the memory of your face_

_ I can recall it perfectly, like I've known you for years_

_Although we've just met, I know you so well_

_And although we often lie to each other,_

_We say cruel things in the spur of the moment_

_I'll never forget the laughs and smiles we rarely share_

_So if God came and asked me, if there was one thing I'd change_

_I wouldn't change a thing_

_Because nothing is worth just being able to see your face everyday_

_I remember after reading it my father turned to me and smiled, "Look at the date. It's from two years ago, a couple of months after you moved in."_

"_So what…" I turned red. I already knew what he was implying._

"_It's about you, Roxas," he handed me back the book of poetry. "I think this is the one we'll use for his epitaph."_

"_Whatever you say…" I remembered exactly how happy I felt the moment I realized the poem really was about me. Ventus really did love me for a long time._

"Hey Roxas," I looked up to see Vanitas and Sora standing above me. They were holding two bouquets of flowers.

Vanitas set one down on my mother's grave and Sora set the other one down on Ventus's.

I still didn't say anything. It was really nice of them to bring flowers for my mother and Ventus but I felt if I said something I might cry at the memory of my dead family members. I still missed them so much…

Vanitas and Sora stayed with me there for a long time. Soon it got dark and the stars were out but we didn't move.

Vanitas pat my shoulder, "It's alright Roxas. They're both still with you." We all stared up at the sky. "They're still with you and always will be. Just like me, Sora, and your dad."

I smiled, "Good." They would be with me up until the day I died and joined my mother and Ventus in Heaven if it exists.

I would live out my long life as best as I could until that day came.

_I will be with Ventus again someday._

* * *

**(A/N: I know it's sad but I really hope you all liked it! Thanks for reading!)**


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